A therapist’s guide to finding CNM-affirming relationship therapy
With more than 5% of the population in a non-monogamous configuration, it’s disappointing that there is no specific relationship therapy modality tailored towards consensually non-monogamous (CNM) relationships. Relationship therapy suffers from a mononormative bias...
A neurodivergent holiday guide to avoid stress, overwhelm and burnout
The summer holiday period is often depicted as a time of family, connection, and celebration, but for many people, and especially many neurodivergent people, it can also be one of the most demanding times of the year. Sensory overload, social expectations, disrupted...
A Practical Guide to Vicious & Virtuous Relationship Patterns
Have you ever been in a relationship pattern where, no matter how hard you try, nothing improves? You are permanently at cross-purposes; things snowball and snowball fast, and minor misses become massive ruptures that lead to the question: “How the hell did we...
A therapist’s guide to attachment without labels
Attachment language can be incredibly pathologising: anxious, avoidant, dismissive, disorganised. They’re not validating terms, and they hardly inspire self-worth or confidence. Furthermore, attachment language can be used to blame and shame, and is often an...
Breakup Survival Guide: Healing and beyond
In the previous blog post, I discussed why breaking up hurts from a neurobiological perspective. In this post, I’ll discuss how to manage a breakup if you find yourself in the midst of one, and provide tips on logistics and stress management. This won’t...
The Science of Heartbreak: Why breakups hurt
If there is one thing inevitable in life, it’s heartbreak. Breaking up with someone is one of the most challenging experiences we will face in our lives. Whether we instigated the breakup or our now-ex-partner did–or even if it was a mutual decision–it always feels...
10 principles for a secure functioning relationship
Any relationship founded on trust, safety, and commitment needs to be secure functioning. A secure functioning relationship rests on the principle that each partner benefits when the relationship thrives. It emphasises mutual stability and security as the best defence...
How Phone Use Kills Intimacy
You probably know the scene: a couple on a romantic dinner date at a nice restaurant or café. They sit across from each other, but where they should be wistfully gazing into each other’s eyes and making cute talk, they’re silent. Their heads are down, eyes...