A therapist’s guide to attachment without labels

A therapist’s guide to attachment without labels

Attachment language can be incredibly pathologising: anxious, avoidant, dismissive, disorganised. They’re not validating terms, and they hardly inspire self-worth or confidence. Furthermore, attachment language can be used to blame and shame, and is often an...
10 principles for a secure functioning relationship

10 principles for a secure functioning relationship

Any relationship founded on trust, safety, and commitment needs to be secure functioning. A secure functioning relationship rests on the principle that each partner benefits when the relationship thrives. It emphasises mutual stability and security as the best defence...
How Phone Use Kills Intimacy

How Phone Use Kills Intimacy

You probably know the scene: a couple on a romantic dinner date at a nice restaurant or café. They sit across from each other, but where they should be wistfully gazing into each other’s eyes and making cute talk, they’re silent. Their heads are down, eyes...
Why Relationship Repair Matters

Why Relationship Repair Matters

Previously, I have written about how to have productive relationship conflict using a basic understanding of neurobiology and communication skills. In this post, I’ll discuss how to repair if everything goes horribly wrong. A big reason why many people fear...

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