Why Relationship Repair Matters
Previously, I have written about how to have productive relationship conflict using a basic understanding of neurobiology and communication skills. In this post, I’ll discuss how to repair if everything goes horribly wrong. A big reason why many people fear...
Conflict Resolution Skills Every Couple Should Know
In the previous entry, I discussed how relationship conflict primes our nervous system to prepare for danger and threat. I also discussed steps to reduce threat signals to create safer conflict. Understanding the neuroscience behind why we become heightened in...
Transform Conflict Into Connection: A therapist’s guide
Healthy relationship conflict involves understanding some basic neuroscience and employing effective communication strategies. When we get this right, we take the danger out of conflict and minimise the risk of escalation and rupture. Today, I’ll focus on the...
Using Neurobiology to Stay Connected in Conflict
If there’s one thing people most dread in relationships, it’s conflict. We avoid conflict or treat it as a hallmark of a dysfunctional or failing relationship. It’s understandable why we might have this view. Few of us have models of how to have healthy relationship...
Daily Rituals That Improve Relationship Intimacy
Romantic relationships thrive on the delicate balance of love, trust, and connection. Underpinning that balance is a sense of stability and shared meaning between partners. Relationship rituals are an important way of helping couples create symbolic meaning and shared...
Holiday Relationship Stress: The 5 Ps of staying connected
The holiday season can be a time of joy, togetherness, and celebration. It can also be chaotic, stressful and overwhelming, as many couples navigate myriad stressors that may impact the security of their relationship. Relationship insecurity often leads to conflict,...
5 Myths About Attachment: What the research really says
Attachment theory is having its moment! There’s so much information out in the public sphere now—books, podcasts, social media pages, workshops—that it is easy to become overwhelmed by it all and hard to discern what’s true and what’s not. Personally, I am excited...
Why Secure Functioning Matters More Than Secure Attachment in Couples
It’s commonly thought that having a secure attachment style in yourself or your partner is the holy grail of relationships. The belief goes that if you have a secure attachment style you won’t be troubled by the push-me-pull-you of insecure attachment and that...