CNM & Polyam-Affirming Therapy
Non-monogamous relationships allow the opportunity to experience profound possibility and unique strain.
Love is always abundant, but our time and our capacity are not.
You might feel stretched between partners, agreements, and competing needs. You may be navigating jealousy, insecurity, or the fear of abandonment while trying to honour your values and autonomy. Perhaps you’re struggling with relationship asymmetries or spending energy negotiating time, energy, and emotional labour across multiple relationships.
Consensual non-monogamy (CNM) relationships bring complex systemic dynamics. Agreements can easily blur into rules and there is a fine line between veto power and subtle coercion. Triangulation and loyalty conflicts arise when partners feel pulled between competing attachments. Jealousy may be framed as personal failure, while compersion is over-idealised as an aspiration when both are normal human responses.
Attachment frameworks may not map neatly onto multi-partner systems. You might find yourself asking: How do we create security across a network? What does commitment look like when there are multiple bonds? How do we honour individual autonomy without eroding relational safety?
These issues are indications that you are travelling without a roadmap towards something complex and unsupported.
How CNM & polyam-affirming therapy supports you
Whether you identify as monogamish, polyamorous, solo-poly, or relationship anarchist or if you’re exploring consensual non-monogamy (CNM) for the first time, you may carry the weight of misunderstanding from friends, family, or previous therapists. If you’ve previously encountered mononormative judgment, pathologizing, or pressure then reaching out for support can feel risky.
We offer a space where you can slow down and make sense of what is happening beneath the surface of conflict. Rather than treating jealousy, insecurity, or conflict as problems to eliminate, we explore what they are signalling: unmet needs, unclear agreements, nervous system overwhelm, or underlying attachment needs.
We can help you learn to distinguish agreements from rules, how to create relational agreements that are consensual, flexible, and rooted in shared values rather than fear. We can explore both explicit and implicit power dynamics so that autonomy and care can coexist without coercion.
If you are navigating relationship asymmetry, we can explore how fairness differs from sameness, and how to build security even when partners’ experiences diverge. If you are facing triangulation or loyalty conflicts, we work toward clarity of roles, boundaries, and communication pathways that reduce pressure on any one relationship to carry the entire system.
How CNM & poly-affirming therapy supports you
We also support you in developing a language for needs, limits, and desires. We help you practice communicating even when conversations are difficult. You will develop tools for negotiating agreements that reflect your values rather than your fears. You will learn to navigate jealousy, asymmetry, and conflict without collapsing into blame or withdrawal. You will learn how to build autonomous and secure relationships.
Importantly, we recognise intersectionality. Your experience of non-monogamy may intersect with queerness, gender diversity, neurodivergence, disability, cultural background, or parenting responsibilities. These factors are not treated as complications but as integral aspects of your relational ecology.
Over time, therapy helps you move from crisis management toward intentional relationship design that supports resilience.
Most importantly, you will leave with a felt sense that your way of loving is not inherently flawed or doomed to fail. With the right support, CNM relationships can be intentional, resilient, and deeply nourishing. The research says that, when done right, people in CNM relationships are not relationship disasters but relationship masters!
The relief of being seen and understood
You deserve a space where you don’t have to defend the legitimacy of your relationships before you can begin the real work.
In CNM and polyam-affirming therapy, you are never asked to justify your relationship structure. Instead, we begin from the understanding that consensual non-monogamy is a valid and meaningful way of organising love, intimacy, and kinship.
There is no top-down or hierarchical model to adhere to. Every relationship system is different, and we want to
support you to find tools and solutions that serve your system.
Many clients describe the greatest relief as no longer having to explain or defend their relationships. In a CNM- and polyam-affirming space, you can speak freely without fear of judgment.
How therapy is structured
CNM & poly-affirming therapy can involve individuals, couples, or multiple partners, depending on your needs. We work systemically, exploring how each relationship influences the wider network, while maintaining clear boundaries and confidentiality.
Sessions may focus on:
- Clarifying values and relationship visions
- Mapping agreements and identifying pressure points
- Building communication practices that support multiple bonds
- Strengthening nervous system regulation during conflict
- Exploring attachment patterns across relational systems
Where appropriate, we support you to create practical frameworks you can use between sessions: agreement templates, communication tools, check-in structures, rituals, and strategies for navigating transitions such as new partners, breakups, or changes in capacity.
What makes us different
What sets us apart is our focus on relationships as systems. Because CNM is inherently systemic and polycules are systems within systems, our training and perspective is better equipped to provide relationship support than most mainstream, behavioural approaches to relationship therapy.
Furthermore, behavioural changes don’t stick when relationships become heated or over-stretched. There’s a saying in psychology: we regress under stress. This is why the demands of multiple relationships become more difficult when there is stress or conflict within the relationship system.
Our approach draws heavily from the Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy (PACT), which works deeply with how our brains, bodies and neurobiology respond when under relational stress. We support you from the inside out, helping you de-escalate stress responses and the flight-or-fight reaction to co-create a safe environment for relating.
We also make use of regular feedback informed treatment (FIT) during and after sessions, in the form of short surveys and assessments. FIT ensures that your therapy stays on track and
addresses any therapeutic drift before it happens. Research shows that the use of FIT increases the likelihood of positive therapy outcomes by a factor of 2.5.
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Download our free guide, 14 Relationship Rituals for Connection & Intimacy, and discover simple, practical rituals to deepen trust, improve communication, increase emotional intimacy, and bring more presence and connection into your relationship.
Frequently asked questions
If you’re considering therapy, you might have some questions about the process and what to expect. These questions might apply more generally and not just to working with me.
Below are some of the more frequently asked questions I get asked regarding psychotherapy…
Click on the question to expand the answer.
If you cannot find your question below, you might also like to look at the How I work page or contact me directly.
What happens in our first session?
Before your session, you may feel a little nervous or awkward. There may be some resistance to turning up on the day- this is perfectly normal!
During the first session, we will discuss the issues you want to work with. The first session can sometimes be the most challenging part of therapy and the most difficult, particularly if you’ve never spoken about your problems before. It can also be very relieving to get these issues off your chest!
We will go over the practicalities, such as professional boundaries, confidentiality, fees, cancellations and any questions you might have.
It is a chance for us to get to know each other. We can see if we are a ‘good fit’ to work together and if the way I work meets your needs. You will have a good sense of this after the session. You can ask yourself the following questions.
Did you feel:
- like we clicked?
- that I understood you and the issues you came with?
- safe or at ease to talk with me?
This advice also applies to any other therapist you want to work with.
How often will I need to attend?
If there is too much of a gap between sessions, progress can be slow or minimal. On the other hand, having sessions too frequently can lead to burn-out.
For that reason, when we first work together and depending upon your needs, I generally suggest meeting weekly for 6-8 sessions, so that we can build rapport and develop momentum. If more sessions are required, we will usually meet fortnightly or monthly depending upon your needs and circumstances.
How many sessions will I need?
It depends. Some people prefer to come to resolve a specific issue and are happy to go on with their lives. Others come for medium- to long-term therapy, which allows time and space to explore themselves and their relationships in greater depth and more resembles personal-development. Therapy can be a fantastic means to cultivate greater self-awareness and understanding.
During our initial session, we will discuss your goals and expectations and determine what suits you best.
I/We need therapy. Is there something wrong with me/us?
Absolutely not.
There is a perception that people who attend therapy have something wrong with them, are broken or just wallowing in self-pity. Nothing could be further from the truth.
It’s common for individuals and couples to seek out external help when they are unable to resolve personal issues themselves. An impartial person’s perspective can be valuable in providing insight that is not obvious from the inside.
Therapy can also be a fantastic form of personal development, even when there are no problems or issues. It can help develop tools and create greater insight into our lives and deepen our relationships.
Therapy is not a short-term fix, but it can provide long-lasting change.
How do I know you're the right therapist for me?
Therapy depends on the strength of the relationship between you and your therapist. For that reason, it’s essential to work with someone you feel like you click with.
I recommend reading my About and How I work pages to get a sense of me and my approach.
You can also book in a free 20-minute phone consultation, so we can discuss your needs and how I might be able to help.
Likewise, if I don’t feel that we are a good fit, I can refer you to another therapist who I think might be better suited.
Can you fix me/my relationship?
The short answer is that in therapy, there are no guarantees. It would be unethical of me to make such promises.
The longer answer is that I do not believe we should view people or relationships as broken. You may feel broken at times in your life. This is a common experience for many people. But humans are not machines to be repaired like a broken watch. We are complex, evolving organisms.
I think it is better to see ourselves having integrated parts and less integrated parts. When we feel broken, those unintegrated parts have more power. Therapy is a process of integration.
In our sessions, I will provide you with tools and resources and create a safe space for you. Ultimately the work that happens is your own. It is a process of self-discovery.
Why Right Relationship?
Right Relationship is more than a business name. It is my mission statement.
Right relationship is a concept that refers to a way of relating that honours and respects the integrity, dignity and sovereignty of ourselves and each other. When we meet each other (and our world) with these qualities then we are in right relationship.
Standing in a place of right relationship involves healing trauma, deepening connection, clarifying values, embracing integration and embodiment, and learning to love and respect the natural world we live in.
This has been my life’s work and I am passionate about helping people attain right relationship in their own lives.
Do you offer any concession rates?
I only offer concessions to individuals and couples who are in medium or long-term therapy and who have limited financial means. I do not offer concession rates for short-term therapy (less than 10 sessions).
Do I get a Medicare rebate?
No. Only clinical psychologists and mental health care social workers are eligible for Medicate rebates.
Can I get a health fund rebate?
I am registered with the following health funds: Police Health Fund, Emergency Services Health, Phoenix Health, St Lukes Health, GMHBA and CUA Health (telehealth only), Teachers Union Health, AIA and Westfund.
Please let me know prior to your session if you need an invoice for any of these funds. For any funds not listed, please contact your provider.
I see you are trained as a shiatsu therapist. Do you offer bodywork?
No. I no longer offer bodywork sessions to the public. However, my background in bodywork and movement has a significant influence on my approach to therapy.
Where appropriate, I often recommend clients obtain bodywork to accompany their sessions, as they complement each other. If this is something within your means, I can provide a referral upon request.
From time to time I run shiatsu workshops for couples. Register for updates to be notified of the next workshop.
I am an associate member of the Shiatsu Therapist Association Australia (STAA).
What is the difference between a counsellor, psychotherapist and psychologist?
In Australia, there is no formal distinction between a counsellor and a psychotherapist.
Generally, you see a counsellor for a specific issue and for a shorter period of time. Psychotherapists support you with more in-depth or general problems, across a longer duration. Some people like to attend psychotherapy to explore their lives and relationships, to gain greater clarity, meaning and purpose.
A psychologist is an individual who has completed a psychology degree and generally ascribes to the ‘medical model’ of mental health. This approach means they diagnose in terms of mental illness set out in The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). Many psychologists operate on a cognitive (thinking) level and are unconcerned with deeper aspects of the self. They are focused on treating symptoms and getting you back to ‘normal’.
As a psychotherapist, I do not work within the medical model, which means I do not diagnose or pathologize. I also do not prescribe medications. For more information about my approach, you might like to read the How I work page.
Take the First Step Towards Change
Healthy relationships are not about perfection. They are built through safety, understanding, communication and repair. Therapy can help you better understand yourself, your nervous system and the patterns that shape the way you connect with others.
Whether you’re seeking support individually or within your relationships, we offer a warm, non-judgemental space for growth, healing and deeper connection.