Supporting you through conflict, distance, and repair
Relationship therapy or couples therapy supports couples and partnerships in understanding recurring conflict, disconnection, and emotional distance. We work on improving communication, repairing rupture, and building secure connection and attachment through awareness of relational patterns and nervous system responses between partners.
Great relationships are not always easy
Relationships are complicated. There is nothing else in the world that matches the feeling of deep love and connection with our special person. There’s also nothing harder than sustaining it over the long term. There are few things as stressful or draining than relationship problems.
Once the romance ends, misunderstandings creep in, fights escalate out of nowhere, intimacy and passion fades, and resentment grows. Unresolved hurt and betrayal mount up and we become more and more distant from the person we were once head over heels in love with.
Nobody teaches us how to be in a relationship, and most of the time we make it up as we go, learning from our mistakes, and often making the same mistakes repeatedly. We might find ourselves trapped in emotional or behavioural loops or bogged down by patterns that never seem to get resolved. Episodes or experiences from the past, or family dynamics from childhood might play out.
It’s called the vicious relationship cycle. Like all vicious cycles, it’s hard to break.
Stop the disconnect and start loving again
To sustain that feeling in the long term requires commitment, energy, and a lot of goodwill.
It can help to have someone independent and impartial hold the space while you work on your relationship. You need someone who will listen to both sides of the story without taking
sides and who can provide effective tools for you to take away and use to escape the vicious cycles.
We can support you to transform and heal your relationship and understand the deeper patterns that play below the surface. We can teach you how to create physical and emotional safety, and develop tools from which you can build deep, loving trust and connection. We can assist you rediscover your relationship’s mojo!
Effective relating is a skill that requires developing personal insight, emotional intelligence and attention. When all these qualities are present in a relationship, the sky is the limit!
Our specialities
- Attachment issues
- Neurobiology of relationship safety
- Supporting neurodivergent relationships (one or both partners)
- Working with trauma, safety and trust
Infidelity and betrayal repair - Sex and intimacy issues
- Resolving gridlocked or perpetual conflict and anger issues
- Managing boundary ruptures
- Effective communication and active listening
- Relationship agreements
- Divorce and conscious breakups
- Stale or stuck relationships (roommate syndrome)
- Polyamory and consensual non-monogamy
What to expect
Most relationship therapy focuses on changing behaviours to improve the relationship. However, behavioural changes don’t stick when the relationship becomes heated and your
nervous system feels like it’s in fight, flight or freeze.
There’s a saying in psychology: we regress under stress.
Our approach draws heavily from the Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy (PACT), which works deeply with how our brains, bodies and neurobiology respond when under relational stress. We support you from the inside out, helping you de-escalate stress responses and the flight-or-fight reaction to co-create a safe environment for relating. This includes deconstructing each partner’s non-verbal interaction and communication cues, to understand and read each other more effectively
We give you skills for self-soothing, co-soothing and being able to hold steady with each other through overwhelming emotions. Then we support you with communication skills and behavioural approaches. We approach your relationship as a unique system of two people, and we look for solutions that meet the needs of your particular system, instead of applying a cookie cutter approach.
Feedback informed treatment
We also make use of regular feedback informed treatment (FIT) during and after sessions, in the form of short surveys and assessment. Rather than relying solely on clinical judgment, feedback informed treatment ensures that your therapy stays on track and addresses any therapeutic drift before it happens.
Research shows that the use of FIT increases the likelihood of positive therapy outcomes by a factor of 2.5.
Relationship therapy is for everyone
There’s a misconception that relationship counselling is only for those in crisis. The truth is that all relationships can benefit from counselling, no matter the situation or how long partners have been together.
A house requires solid foundations and so do relationships. Little cracks that go unaddressed, multiply over time and lead to larger cracks. Unaddressed, these cracks will undermine the foundation of your relationship house. No matter how much love is present, it is much harder to resolve relationship issues once they pile up.
Research says that the strongest relationships are the ones where partners proactively work on relationship issues as they arise, rather than waiting for things to resolve themselves.
What makes us different
- A deep understanding of your relationship system and how to create secure functioning within it
- Knowledge of how to work with yours and your partner’s neurobiology to create a safe relationship
- Capacity to regulate your own and each other’s nervous systems during conflict and stress
- Improved communication skills and strategies to de-escalate conflict
- The ability to work together to process and integrate past traumas and stop them affecting your relationship
- Ways of deepening emotional and sexual intimacy
- Tools for effective repair after conflict or rupture
- A clear vision to take your relationship from surviving to thriving!
- The ability to better cohere as a couple
- Strategies for navigating the external stressors of work, family, children and hobbies
- Heightened value, meaning and purpose in your relationship
- Ways to formulate strong boundaries and agreements to keep your relationship secure
- Tools to incorporate ritual and spirituality into your relationship
- Resources for co-creating an amazing modern relationship!
Fees
Couples
90-minute initial assessment/ongoing therapy session: $300.00
Initial sessions require electronic payment at the time of booking.
Sessions
Couples sessions are 80 minutes in duration, plus 10 minutes of note-taking time
Please aim to arrive at least 5 minutes before your appointment begins, as late arrival means a shorter session time.
Download your free 21-page relationship ritual guide
Download our free guide, 14 Relationship Rituals for Connection & Intimacy, and discover simple, practical rituals to deepen trust, improve communication, increase emotional intimacy, and bring more presence and connection into your relationship.
Frequently asked questions
If you’re considering therapy, you might have some questions about the process and what to expect. These questions might apply more generally and not just to working with me.
Below are some of the more frequently asked questions I get asked regarding psychotherapy…
Click on the question to expand the answer.
If you cannot find your question below, you might also like to look at the How I work page or contact me directly.
What happens in a session?
Every relationship is different, so sessions will vary upon what the presenting issues are.
The first session usually involves a detailed assessment of the relationship’s history and a discussion of goals and problems.
Ongoing sessions may involve a combination of talking and education, games and exercises with you and your partner to identify relational patterns and practicising with tools and techniques that offer different ways of relating.
How do we know you won't take sides?
I believe that for the majority of couples, there are no “angels” or “devils.” Instead, there are only negative cycles of relating, and we can work on that together.
For couples therapy to progress, it’s important that you both feel safe. You need to be seen, heard and appreciated and know that your humanity and any human messiness are welcome unconditionally.
How long will it take to see change?
Every couple is different and comes with different needs. Some come to therapy looking for new tools or a relationship ‘tune up’, while others come to resolve deep and long-standing wounds.
I am committed to working with you as efficiently as possible. We will discuss the duration and frequency of therapy in the first session.
Do you work with infidelity and betrayal?
It’s an inherently traumatising experience to feel the security and trust in your relationship break. I work with helping you to first repair the rupture that has been caused and then set out on the path of rebuilding trust and connection.
There are no quick fixes when it comes to infidelity and betrayal trauma. When effectively healed, however, I believe it can make a relationship stronger than it was before.
Do you work with sex or sexuality?
Yes! Many relationship therapists have little or no training when it comes to sex issues in relationships or feel embarrassed to discuss them.
I have not only done training in sex therapy issues, I’m not afraid to talk about them.
Sex is a part of every relationship and I can work with you on any sex or sexuality issues you’d like to work through.
Take the First Step Towards Change
Healthy relationships are not about perfection. They are built through safety, understanding, communication and repair. Therapy can help you better understand yourself, your nervous system and the patterns that shape the way you connect with others.
Whether you’re seeking support individually or within your relationships, we offer a warm, non-judgemental space for growth, healing and deeper connection.